Pointless Investigation Trips
by Saiyume
Summary: How dandy, my only Saturday off, and I have to spend it with the Brigade Chief. Yare yare. HaruxKyon - Two/Three-shot


**Uh, so yeah. It's 2009 and I FINALLY decide to rework and release my incubated short fic that I spent 2 years writing on (I went on & off lol). I find it sad that it took me over the span of 2 years to write something so short, and it's just the first chapter, too. This will probably be a two/three-shot, and God knows when I'll update new chapters (maybe in 2011?!). Anyways, enjoy some more motal & goddess lovin' as I go back into hiding in my little corner of despair and neverending writer's block.**

**This fic was also the perfect opportunity to see how much my grammar/word choice/sentence structure improved since my first fic published in 2004 (oh god don't even get me started on how horribly structured that fic was). I'll also admit that I have a fetish for typing in first person Kyon. He and his personality are just so damn awesome (mostly because I can relate to it, haha). Normally, I don't like reading fan-fics in first person, but first person Kyon is definitely the exception. I read the novels in first person Kyon, and I wouldn't have it any other way in .  
**

**And now, before I bore you all to death with my pointless babbling, I present to you the product of 2 years of semi-forced labor, constant mind-blocks, and unadulterated laziness.**

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_What?_

"You heard me, Kyon! Get your lazy ass up to the Bus Station, we have no time to waste!"

I groaned.

Dammit, practically my only Saturday off, and she still insists on ruining it. There aren't enough Saturdays in the world to compensate for the number of times Haruhi decided to cram mine with her pointless investigation trips.

"The investigation of the supernatural calls us!"

No, it calls _you_.

Geez, you'd think by now Haruhi would somehow arrive to the conclusion that she's currently harboring an alien, time traveler, and esper in her brigade of hostages.

Before I could even reply, though, I was greeted by the dial tone of my phone. I placed the phone back onto its receiver, and began changing clothes.

Might as well.

I wouldn't be surprised to see Celestials if I disobeyed her. The thought of that gray world sent shivers down my spine.

Bad shivers.

For a second there, I was reminded of my first kiss again. But that's a different story. And, oh look, the shivers came back again.

However, being optimistic about things, I thought about seeing Asahina-san there. Her presence was what made each trip worthwhile every Saturday. Seeing her smiling face always made me warm and comfortable inside, as well as hearing her soft voice, which had always soothed my soul. Ah, what a wonderful gift it was to be with her.

As I crossed the street and approached the Bus Station, I was devastated at the sight before me. No Asahina-san. No Nagato. Not even Koizumi--which I honestly didn't mind. Just Haruhi. Haruhi Suzumiya.

Constant echoes of "No" reverberated through my head. Dammit, if I had known that she would be the only one here, I'd still be at home, glued to my bed. I would ignore her request, and have a pleasant chat with Asahina-san over the phone instead.

But no, here I am, in front of Haruhi, ready to be dragged like a child's plaything around the whole tri-city area. If anything, I hope she would at least allow me to leave here with my money still intact. Haruhi's tendency to easily go off-track leaves me spending cash for her on the most unnecessary things.

As if 'alien bracelets' would actually attract aliens, anyways.

...

Nagato does not count.

"Finally, you're here! Took you a while!"

Haruhi scowled angrily, grabbed the collar of my shirt, and dragged me into the bus. Unfortunately, I was forced to pay for her bus fare as she stomped pass the bus operator and immediately took a seat.

What a woman. Already she had me spending money on her.

I sat across from Haruhi, being sure to create enough space between us. Who knows what the goddess might do when she's mad.

Oh, never mind. I do.

A distressed sigh escaped from my lips, and before I could even think, I found myself shuffling from my seat. I now sat right next her, and my impulsive action caused the brigade chief to perk up an eyebrow.

The bus ride was slow and deathly quiet. Haruhi's anger had gradually subsided, which relieved me a bit. I tried to break the tension by starting a conversation with her.

So, how are you?

"This bus is going too slow. Kyon, make it go faster!"

I can't, your Majesty.

"Ugh, you're so useless Kyon."

Thanks, I hope one day that my uselessness will actually get to you and you'll leave me alone.

Where the hell are we going anyways?

"Shut up, you'll find out as soon as we get there; give or take 4 hours at the rate this stupid bus is going."

She turned her face away from me and stared out of the glass window. Boredom hath strucketh yon Lordeth yet again...eth.

I fiddled with my fingers absent-mindedly, ignoring the fact that Haruhi was cautiously peeping at me over her shoulders. She mumbled some incoherent words, but I was not able to hear them under the braking sounds of the bus.

"Gah, finally. Get up you lazy bag of air!"

She shoved past me and walked out of the bus with an air of impatience hovering above her. I got up from my seat and followed her like the abused bag of air I was.

As soon as I exited the bus, I was a bit shocked with the sight that greeted my eyes; whimsical noise, laughter of children, mechanical machines swerving in the distance, and the heavy scent of cholesterol encrusted foods.

I didn't know the supernatural liked amusement parks.

I turned my attention to Haruhi, my silent expression questioning her blushing one.

Wait, _blushing?_

Probably just the sun. Yeah, that's it.

It took me a few minutes to compose myself and to assess the situation before hesitantly asking her the reason why we were here.

She crossed her arms and turned her face away from me.

"Don't get the wrong idea or anything!"

I was pretty sure that the sun decided to warm her cheeks even more.

"There's a haunted house in this amusement park which I'm sure just HAS to contain some sort of supernatural creature! Let's get moving, Kyon!"

Let the dragging around begin...again.

Our first stop was in fact, surprisingly, the arcade. Haruhi decided it was best for her to experiment with digital creatures before facing the real ones. Experiment my ass. I bet she only used that as an excuse to play with the toy machine gun.

"Take that! And that! And some of this! The Brigade Chief shall eradicate you all!"

A maniacal shrill of laughter rang through the air. Yes, she was _that_ into it. More than I was when I was playing Whack-A-Mole. And believe me, Whack-A-Mole was intense. Those little plastic bastards.

"YES! HIGH SCORE! Did you see that, Kyon?! That's what happens when you apply yourself with enthusiasm and dedication. Winner!"

She made it top priority to rub that fact all over my face by forcing me to play her little shooting game. I groaned a bit and unwillingly took the gun from her hand. Whatever, I'll just intentionally lose so she can continue to stroke her exorbitant ego.

After 20 minutes of playing, I was rewarded with a pleasant message flashing on the screen.

'Player 1 - New High Score!'

Hell yeah.

Okay, so I lied about intentionally losing. I was actually pretty decent at the game, so I pressed my luck further and ended up beating Haruhi's high score. Seeing her face swell with anger and envy at the new score was priceless. Nonetheless, it was totally worth it to go to arcade and humiliate Haruhi like that.

Of course, with pride comes punishment, too.

I swear, Haruhi's slaps are the equivalent to that of a steel mallet striking my cheek. I rubbed the side of my jaw, attempting to soothe the bright red mark going down my jawline. But again, totally worth it.

The haunted house loomed overhead, festively decorated with fake bats, spider webs, and glowing jack-o-lanterns. Children lined up at the front of the door, waiting for their turn to enter the ghastly building. Haruhi still hadn't guessed that the haunted house was fake and was intended to scare away little children, not people our age. Although I have to admit, the Celestials in Haruhi's netherworld were definitely frightening material.

However, despite the most obvious clues, Haruhi still chose to go to the house, just to find her so called 'supernatural creature' and take photographic evidence of it. She even did such a cruel thing as to charge in front of the tremendously long line of small children, shove the ticket manager out of the way, and force herself through the door, with security being called upon her.

I bowed my head in apology to the ticket manager as I quickly followed Haruhi into the haunted house.

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**And thus ends chapter one. Have fun waiting another few months (or years) for the next chapter. Reviewing might speed the process. Who knows. **

**I sound like such a pessimist, don't I?**


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